Disarming Your Inner Critic

Step – By – Step Methods to Help You;

• Stop being so hard on yourself
• Experience greater peace of mind
• Break free from self-imposed limitations

Description:
By James Elliott, Ph.D. with Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D.

The Inner Critic is an internal voice that not only criticizes you but also imposes “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts.”  If you disobey these shoulds and shouldn’ts, your Inner Critic inflicts one or more of the following emotional punishments: feelings of defectiveness, guilt, shame, inferiority, and magnified fear.

How can you disarm your Inner Critic?  There are three methods that don’t work very well: 1. Telling it to shut up; 2. Replacing its negative comments with positive ones; and 3. Debating with it or disputing what it says.

Step – By – Step Methods to Help You;

• Stop being so hard on yourself
• Experience greater peace of mind
• Break free from self-imposed limitations

Description:
By James Elliott, Ph.D. with Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D.

The Inner Critic is an internal voice that not only criticizes you but also imposes “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts.”  If you disobey these shoulds and shouldn’ts, your Inner Critic inflicts one or more of the following emotional punishments: feelings of defectiveness, guilt, shame, inferiority, and magnified fear.

How can you disarm your Inner Critic?  There are three methods that don’t work very well: 1. Telling it to shut up; 2. Replacing its negative comments with positive ones; and 3. Debating with it or disputing what it says.

What does work is undermining your Inner Critic’s power by using Anthetic Releasing Statements.  Jim and Kathryn offer step-by-step directions for formulating and applying these statements.

Once you liberate yourself from you Inner Critic, your life will be free to unfold naturally, the way it was meant to.  The disarming methods presented in this book are applications of Anthetic Therapy, a revolutionary new approach to overcoming the personal problems that people face every day.

Unlike most self-help books, this book offers more than a description of your problems.  It presents dozens of methods for neutralizing your Inner Critic – the one log that keeps the logjam of problems in place.

As an introduction to Anthetic Therapy or as an adjunct to your own work in therapy, the book presents Anthetic Challenging methods you can apply right away in your own life to get an idea of the power and effectiveness of this new approach.

Disarming Your Inner Critic is more than a “popular psychology” book; it’s also aimed at mental health professionals who might be interested in becoming Certified Anthetic Therapists.

Description:

Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D. & James Elliott, Ph.D.

A Self-Help Romance
Against all odds, two therapists’ lives converge at a romantic California Oceanside retreat.  In a mere ten days, they forge a bond but have to part.  Over the next six months and 2,000 miles apart, their love deepens, as they write 130 love letters.  You are invited into their journey of romance.  Packed with insight, wisdom, and inspiration, Hearts Entwined can reignite hope that the romance you long for is still possible and attainable.  The 130 letters in Hearts Entwined offer wisdom on:

The Promise of Soulmate Love
Inside you is a great reservoir of magical energies for loving in a deep way, even in a mythic way.  We tapped that reservoir.  May our letters begin to equip you to have your own mythic love.

Longing for Closeness
“You will never overwhelm me with wanting to be with me.  For I want to be with you as much as you want to be with me.  Come on full blast, girl!”
- Jim’s letter to Kathy, March 7, 1989

Not Losing Yourself in Love
“I will encourage you at all times to maintain your own identity in the blazing power of our love.  And I will not leave you just because you continue to be yourself.  I will go on being charmed by your otherness.”
- Jim’s letter to Kathy, March 1, 1989

Sexuality
"I want to smile my ‘totally satisfied woman’ smile as the morning sun breaks into the room. And I want you to know that you did that.”
- Kathy’s letter to Jim, March 23, 1989

Spirituality
“Shall we pray together about this workshop? Is that what one does when one begins (as I have) to love God?”
- Jim’s letter to Kathy, March 28, 1989

Personal Growth
“The turmoil you feel is a good sign.  It means some old patterns are dying and that new ones are being born.  And I cheer you on.”
- Jim’s letter to Kathy, February 6, 1989

That longing for a soul-deep connection has been in all of us since infancy.  We (Jim and Kathryn), too, know that longing.  We lived with it for years, searching for the one who would want that kind of intimacy too.  Finally, in 1989 we found it.  There, at the start of our doctoral program at a conference center on the Pacific coast, we met.  And after ten days, we had to part - Jim to return to Berkeley, California, and Kathryn to fly home to Louisiana.  But we couldn’t stand being apart.  So we began writing – 130 letters in all!  Over the next two months we discovered that we had found something amazing.  We had to get married.  We had found our Soulmate.

So, in July 1989 we married.  Since that time, we have taught, practiced, written, and traveled together, and along the way developed our relationship ideas.  Over time we’ve used our own relationship as a test kitchen and have expanded the ideas Jim originated, called Anthetic Therapy.  These tried and tested ideas are now the concepts and skills that form the foundation of what we have come to call the High-Voltage Relationship.  The High-Voltage Relationship is a relationship marked by mutual honesty, depth, communication, and emotional closeness.  It is a relationship with your Soulmate.

In 2009, Jim suffered a stroke that left him in need of constant care and tested our relationship in brand new ways.  The skills we developed and used for the past two decades have kept our connection as strong as ever, able to withstand the stresses and challenges that a stroke can bring.

Now, we want to share those concepts, principles and skills for high-voltage soulmate relating with you.  We know how reliable they are for crafting and sustaining deep emotional closeness, because we used them every day in our own Soulmate Relationship.

The first step in the process is finding a partner who will want the kind of intimacy you want.  You’ll need to be equipped to recognize such a partner.  You’ll, in fact, need criteria.  Here, we share with you how to get started on your soulmate quest.

For those of you already in a committed relationship these skills can help you gain clarity as to the qualities you both can develop to deepen and further expand your relationship.

Not only can these skills guide your choice of partner and development of your relationship, they are also reliable for improving your relationships with friends, relatives, co-workers, and others.  They will equip you for meaningful communication in all aspects of your life. 

Our best wishes to you as you begin this exciting soulmate journey,

~ Jim & Kathryn Elliott

And they lived happily ever after… It’s a longing inside each of us.  Be assured that it is your destiny to live happily ever after. It will take love and skill.  We know.  We believed in our destiny.  As couple therapists who had longed for a great love and finally found each other, we, James Elliott and Kathryn Elliott, shared what we came to call a high-voltage soulmate relationship.  It was marked by intense closeness and depth communication; personal growth and heart-stirring romance.  We learned from our experiences how to make relationships work; then added solid theory, along with practical skills. Jim and I both believed that our fulfillment was more than a personal one. We believe we are to be a sign to you and a guide

This guide is for you who have found your love and want to keep that love alive.  It’s also for you who have lost hope. In the face of that discouragement, we have one thing to say to you:  Your history is NOT your destiny. How can we say that?  Because we know that relationships are our grand opportunity for learning.  And for growth. 

The Kickass Guide came into being during the last three years of our relationship, after Jim had suffered a debilitating stroke.  We distilled what we had learned into a daily blog of soulmate skills.  Now, after Jim’s death, we bring you the wisdom we learned in this daily guide packed with powerful relationship skills. 

Whether you’re searching for your soulmate or have found your love, The Kickass Guide to Happily Ever After will be your day-by-day companion in forging your own happily ever after.